Energy
Protect your energy. Protect how you use it, protect how you let others effect it, and protect how you manifest it. Protect it at all costs.
If you walk into my office, you will see three of my favorite messages:
(1) You are responsible for the energy you bring into a space
(2) You are responsible for the energy you let into your space
(3) Unf*ckwithable
One of my favorite songs of the last decade is Energy by Keri Hilson. The message and lyrics of the song are timeless. Energy is the strength and vitality required for sustained physical or mental activity. As a more fluid definition I think of vitalism which is defined as the “theory or doctrine that life processes arise from or contain a nonmaterial vital principle and cannot be explained entirely as physical and chemical phenomena.” This is how I think of energy, as your life force. In one yoga class I attended, energy/life force was explained as responsible for maintaining all the physical functions, including life, heat and health. If my energy is drained, my attitude does not change but I have physical manifestations of pain, injury, or illness. I am no expert here, but I think everyone should be aware of the impact of drained energy; similarly, be aware of the magnificence when your energy is fulfilled. It is different for everyone.
Eons ago, I was in a terrible relationship. The relationship had its share of problems but, more importantly, it was exhausting. I was not myself. I was not the strong vibrant goofy woman who most people know. For me, the final straw of that relationship occurred when I was so drained, upset, and consumed that I almost did not finish my law school exams. Can you believe that?!? Finish is not the proper word. Y’all, I was not going to walk into the law school to even take my law exams. I had not studied or prepared and did not realize there were only 4 days left to complete the exams. Guess how many exams I had left? Thank God for the friend who called me and got me in check. Forever my brother.
Unfortunately, that was not the only time that I allowed something to drain my energy. Not just romantic relationships – I am including friendships, work colleagues, work environments, family – any relationship or environment that consumed my energy, took me out of myself or generally prevented progress in my life, figuratively and literally. I release all bad energy. I control my energy. And I respect the power of energy. It is a practice, not a one-time cleanse.
The power and desire to release bad energy and/or keep good energy intensified after having my son. Not because I was a mom, but because I spent years and months at a time with my son living in the hospital while working in corporate America – I had no room for energy drainers and no room for negative energy. My life force needed to be on 100 so that I could survive, literally. I needed to survive for him. I think that is when I grew REALLY selfish with my energy.
There is no reason to wait until a toxic relationship or experience with a medically fragile child to take control of your energy. Currently, I’m reading “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a #@%!” by Mark Manson. I’ll provide my full thoughts on the book in a later post. One chapter of his book discusses your responsibility for your experiences and reactions. Basically, you are responsible for your energy and how you react. You are responsible for your life. He asks, “[w]hat are we choosing to give a fuck about? What values are we choosing to base our actions on?” Key questions when thinking about energy.
Today, I do a regular energy audit of my life. Sometimes certain people cannot be in my life while their energy is screwed up. And that is ok. No love lost. Other times, I have left a job because it was so full of toxic energy. The most important thing I do when I feel my energy is disturbed is take time to myself to reset my energy. Solitude is my best friend. As hard as it is to get away from all of my responsibilities, when my energy is impacted, I am not living right and need to have a stern conversation with myself, by myself. Pay attention to your actions. My biggest insight into my energy flow is my attitude and how quick I allow something to impact my feelings. Energy is your shield and your life force, if it is easily penetrated, it is likely weakened and not protecting you. Therefore, it is time to figure out what is puncturing your energy bubble. My point is to be cognizant of energy surrounding you and the impact other things and people have on your energy. Be conscious and act when needed.