Focus on the NOW
Focus on the NOW.
“Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.”
- Eckart Tolle, The Power of Now
Do not worry about the artificial deadlines you want to meet or did not meet. I am not talking about deadlines to respond to an email. I am talking about deadlines you give yourself for life events, goals, or other milestones.
Stop.
It.
Now.
Those deadlines do not matter.
How many of us are victims of these scenarios:
(1) “I will have ___ in ___ years. Then by the time I’m ___, I’ll have _____. I should be ____ by the time I’m _____. Then I’ll live happily ever after.”
(2) “If only I had not wasted so much time on _____, then things would be so much better.”
How many of you have lived life waiting for those “only if” milestones before living your happily ever after? Are you still waiting for the happily ever after moment? While you focused on that future milestone, did you enjoy the current experiences? Do you even recall the experiences that occurred in your pursuit of the happily ever after? Or were you too focused on the future, instead of enjoying the Now? And how many of you have achieved something after your “deadline” and instead of enjoying it, you have wasted time convincing yourself it would have been so much better earlier?
I have an entire period of life, where I solely focused on future goals. During law school and my early legal career, I was laser focused on obtaining a prestigious judicial clerkship and then working at a huge law firm. To me, those events represented my freedom and happily ever after.
Life did not quite work out as planned. I achieved those goals (in the wrong order) and had many other interesting twists and turns in the process. Twist and turns that, in my mind, pushed back my happily ever after. All the while I thought I was pursing a goal towards freedom and happiness, I was actually trapped in a tunnel with no light at the end. Ignoring the present and the now, are full proof ways to not appreciate and experience life to the fullest. Those years of experiences and events are a blur. I never once stopped to smell the roses and the focus on a future vision and narrow interpretation of happily ever after caused me to gloss over the many joyful events during that time. Arguably, also I probably missed lessons in the less desirable experiences as well. Contrary to popular belief, there is no pursuit of happiness. The only joy, freedom and happiness is when you drop the pursuit and live in the Now.
Yes, I still make goals. However, I try not to focus on the potential happiness of a future experience, but instead, I now choose to focus on the moment, the Now, the present. I found true freedom when I allowed myself to BE and ENJOY the journey. Each and every day is the happily ever after. Life, all of it, the good, the bad, and the ugly, is the prize.
In a world of high achievers, social media, pressure to walk in purpose, and others’ expectations, how do I stay focused on the NOW?
For me, it’s a constant practice. Here are my tips:
1. Mindset and mind control. No, I am not referencing the “Pinky and the Brain” type of control. I encourage you to become aware of your thoughts. Each and every time my thoughts wander into future possibilities or negativity because I took too long, I tell myself to “Stop.” Instead, I shift my thoughts to moments of gratitude, appreciation and highlights of the journey.
2. Stop scrolling. There are many good uses of social media and the internet. However, it’s a known fact that scrolling the internet may open you up to jealously, FOMO (fear of missing out), a feeling of inferiority, and other negative feelings. Pay attention to your surroundings not the electronics. Every moment is an opportunity to live. Don’t miss the moments in front of you because you are living vicariously through a screen. Likewise, do not spend time harping on someone else’s life. Know that life is a constant flow of live action dramatics, a real life movie. Focus on your starring role in your life.
3. Stop worrying. We spend so much time worrying about things out of our control. Have you ever RSVP’d for an event and then wasted the next several weeks stressing over all the possible things that could go wrong? Or have you failed to start because of all of the possible things that could occur? Or do you spend time worrying about past events? Worrying gets you no where. It resolves nothing. It’s a frozen state of existence. Instead of worrying, take action, lean on faith, shift the mindset, and/or just do it.
4. Forget the past. It’s over. No matter how many times the Avengers change the past, in real life, there are no do overs. Sure, you can learn from the past. Extract the lesson, but do not carry the weight of the past. Do not let a past experience ruin the most precious aspect of life, which what is happening right here and right now.
Changing my focus and perspective have made even the most challenging situations bearable. It has allowed me to truly enjoy the experience of the sound of water, the beauty of flowers (despite the hidden killer bees on its petals), and the sun rays on my face. I live to experience all of the wonderful, annoying, difficult and excellent things this world and my life has to offer. Start appreciating where you are NOW, literally and figurately.
I trust the process, the journey, and all the character building snafus along the way.
Live in the NOW.
Sometimes a shirt says it best!
Credit: Sweater by Nil & Mon
P.S. Half my wardrobe consists of shirts with important life messages.